As society and technology continues to develop at a rapid pace, our biology is still stuck back 100,000 years ago.
We have certain needs or drives that can be exhilarating, but in today’s environment may also be self-destructive.
The paralysis of that ancient inner male that still lurks in the shadows deep inside of us is slowly dragging us down. The longer you go with ignoring your needs, the sooner you should accept your neutered, sterile future.
Or, you could dig deep, and do something new and difficult, but that is ultimately fulfilling. Read on if you can relate.
Step 1: Master something. Anything.
What is something that you love? Something that you could spend hours doing? Something that you could find a group of other people to share an experience with?
This works because deep down inside, men are still competitive. Even if some of us may try to ignore that.
We as a species evolved in a world of scarcity. We evolved needing to fight for food, for mating rites, and everything else you can imagine.
This is the basis of our competitive spirit.
We may or may not still live in a scarce environment, but our inner needs are still there.
If you go too long without feeling like a winner, you will inevitably start to feel like a loser.
Now, this does not mean that you have to fight everyone over everything. Pick just one thing. One thing that you enjoy and that you could become really good at.
Are sports your thing? Business? Video games? Playing music?
On as close to a daily basis as possible, hone your craft. Get better. Find other people who have the same hobby and learn from them and keep pushing. It may take 10,000 hours or more of hard work, but you will eventually become a master.
With mastery comes a feeling of inner calm and confidence that cannot be shaken.
So long as you keep up your practice and keep developing, you will carry that with you to other facets of your day.
Step 2: Teach someone your mastered craft
This piggybacks off the confidence gains from step #1. When you feel good about knowing you are skilled at something, this will enhance your mastery even further while having the side benefit of making you feel good.
It is almost contradictory that you would feel good by being at the top of an area and to then help pull other people up, but when you make others around you better at something it also makes you all the more masterful.
When you have to stop and to think of how best to train someone, you inevitably end up analyzing what did or did not make you successful. What might have been a thoughtless action execute well is now streamlined into something more beautiful and effective than before.
After some training of others, you will have a very good feel for exactly what does or does not work, and how to best move someone forward. This will also give you the ability to analyze your current level of mastery and forget a better path forward for your development as well.
This also provides the benefit of feeling needed.
We are a social species and like to feel like our in-group appreciates and values what we do. What greater way of doing that than training someone in something that they enjoy and watching their pride and happiness grow as a direct result of your work?
We currently live in a sanitized world very different from the one we are biologically programmed for, and it is important to recognize that. So long as we tap into those desires in healthy ways, everyone wins.
Although we might talk about the ways that masculinity is changing, that does not mean that we should change who we are- it means we should discover who we are and enhance what we can do, be, and mean to ourselves and to others.
We no longer have to kill or hurt something to get the rush of victory when we master something; and we can have a supportive in-group by helping those who want help doing something that we love without being needy or clingy.
Times are changing. It is time that we change too, while still being the man that we were meant to be.