When a man makes the decision to look good, oftentimes he just picks up a random item here or there. We tend to pick out one item that we think looks good, rather than thinking about how it will fit in with our lives and our wardrobes.
(Incidentally, this is why a subscription box like ours is especially powerful)
But, are we taking account of what we want to look like? The different places we go, people we are with, and activities we will participate in?
Here is where a style mentor fits in.
Now, I’m not talking about finding an actual guy whose brain you are going to pick.
I want you to just think about a person who dresses and acts a way that you would like to dress and act.
This person may be an actual friend or family member, he may be an executive at work you just see every once in awhile, or it may be a movie star. It does not really matter.
What matters is that you have at least an imagined sense of who they are and what they do, and you would not mind being in their shoes.
Make sure the personality is a fit too. If being funny is your strength, then your style mentor should have this attribute also. If you have to wear a tie everyday, then someone in a similar situation would be best. If you are not a rockstar or someone going to the gym super often, it does not make sense to look up to somebody who is.
You get the idea.
It does not make sense to shoot in the dark while trying something new. That advice goes for both fashion and life in general. You do not want to sit around thinking and conjuring up new ideas necessarily. You want to find someone a couple steps ahead of you, and match them.
We all have an idealized version of ourselves in our head. Just find someone else who fits a large part of that idealized you, and start taking notes.
Are their clothes tight or loose fitting? What colors do they wear more than others? How do they react during meetings, or out on the town? How often do they wear ties, or eye catching accessories? When do they wear suits?
You may not have all of the answers to these questions. And that is okay. But can you visualize how they are going to act and react? Can you visualize how if you took a step or two towards their mannerisms that it would bring about a superior you?
Then do it.
If this is a person that you have direct access to, then make a conscious effort to spend more time with them. Maybe you invite them out to lunch, or ask to pick their brain about something during work. The more insight you get into their personalities, the better.
If you copy the training and practice routines of the pros first, you will develop yourself a lot more quickly.
The world needs more men on their A game. But, many men (myself included) become stubborn and have this idea of the self-made man. There is no such things as a self-made man. Not only are we products of our society, but we have a lot that we can learn from others.
There is no need to reinvent the wheel, in fashion or in self development.
So, take a minute away from your computer. Think about how you would act and dress in your most common life situations. Then sift through your mental rolodex of people you know, personally or from TV shows or wherever, that kinda sorta fit that image.
Become that image and refer back to it constantly.
If you do not take action now, chances are that you never will. Chances are that you will be in the same place, whether in terms of your appearances or life progressions, when you next stop and think about it.
And then, if after an interaction you do not stop and evaluate your actions and make a quick mental game plan for how you could improve next time, chances are also that you will keep doing the same ol’ thing all over again.
Habits are a bitch like that.
Break the cycle.