Whether it’s a Hallmark Holiday or a birthday or anniversary coming up, pretty much anytime of year you could be reading this and in need of gifts. Whether it be Christmas, a birthday, or one of two holidays dedicated to celebrating the Korean alphabet (Korea, you so silly), you’re probably going to need a gift.
So, lets dig in and see what actually makes the best gifts for him.
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -Maya Angelou
Medical Daily posted an article that if you want something to be better remembered, then to associate a feeling with it. So, it stands to reason that if you want a gift to be remembered, then associating a feeling with it is best.
In a book I was recently reading, it touched on something I found interesting: the chemicals needed to cause feelings and attention in another person. Dopamine is released when you cause desire, and to create attention you need dopamine and norepinephrine, but norepinephrin is released through tension. We generally tend to focus on the dopamine/feel good part, but not recognizing that something memorable and associated with feelings requires a little bit of tension. Tension can be good after all, it turns out.
How can your gift provide tension? There are numerous ways, and it’ll depend on the person you’re gifting as to how you should go about that. Shrouding it in mystery is a good way, as is participating in an activity that is likely to get adrenaline pumping (GroupOn tends to have good deals on everything from car racing, to sky diving, rock climbing gyms, hiking, and more, and those all fit the bill). For the less adventurous and more ballsy, you could still stay at home, and perhaps just come out yelling and screaming waving a box in your hands at some random time. These new and novel approaches will leave an imprint, you can bet on that.
We touched on it in another blog of ours with the science behind symbolism being powerful. You can take the same coat, and by calling it a doctor’s coat or a painter’s coat, get two completely different reactions. So, what are you calling your date? How are you referring to what your doing? Are you taking him to a dinner, or a gala? Are you going out for a bike ride, or an extreme mountain bike excursion? It matters, whether he acknowledges it or not. Combine that with the fact that your looks literally change the way you feel and are perceived, doing an activity that requires dressing up fancy (or in any specific way) will have its merits and leave you feeling differently.
And, in fact, part of the reason why we at The Loaded Vault recommend gifts go for at least 3 months, and ties into a couple of the reasons mentioned above. When you give someone a gift on a day or time that’s expected, that’s great, but it’s not novel and memorable and gets lumped in with everything else. Nobody expects that gift coming a month later, or two, or six, or… you get the point. The mystery of each box alone causes excitement and tension. And, when you dress up and get compliments, whether dressed casually or professionally? You bet that has an impact on confidence.
But, of course, there are many ways to give the perfect gift and still be backed by science. Something shareable, with a story, tends to work well for gifts for men too.
It’s why grabbing beers and watching a game with friends and catching up is so great. Each person brings their own stories to catch up on, and has a team to root for to vicariously get those chemical hits, and the tension through wondering if his team will win or lose gives it that extra boost of norepinephrine.
So, if all else fails and you’re stuck on what to get, sometimes a stress-free, no-judgement guys day or paying for a guys activity will hit all the right brain chemicals, and give him a new story to tell you that he will remember for years to come.