Stop for a second and think about to the last time you felt confident, or a time where somebody else appeared to ooze confidence. What was happening?
When you really stop to think about it, it all stemmed from one thing: certainty.
But, where does certainty come from? Knowing something well.
If you look back to the times you didn’t feel confident, they will all share the theme of not knowing what was going to happen. And, of course, there are times where this will inevitably happen. But, the more experience you garner in any one area, the more easily confidence will start to flow naturally.
The confident basketball player has competed numerous times and knows his odds of success. The guy who was confident talking to that group of girls knew what he was doing. The confident manager was relying on his past experiences to steer his employees; the person who confidently won the argument was the one who felt they brought the most convincing stuff to the table. When you stop, slow down and look, you’ll start to notice the pattern too.
So, how do you fix this? Well, whatever you’re not confident in (and, unless you’re deluding yourself, we all have some area where we may lack confidence every now and again), decide to plunge yourself head first into it. And, to be fully confident, you may need to learn multiple peripheral categories as well. Going back to the basketball player example, he might not just need to play against lots of opponents to feel confident, he may also have to develop his cardio, practice shooting, be able to tune out the crowds, etc. The confident manager may need to know more than how to delegate tasks, they may need to be able to speak publicly, analyze competition, and know what’s going on in their company’s multiple departments.
You’ll be confident in your job when you put in consistent effort and the fear steps out. You’ll be confident in your body when you put in consistent effort and the fear steps out.
And, of course, you can be confident in your fashion and appearance when you put in the effort and the fear steps out: