Imagine you’re a teeny tiny 20 foot dinosaur, just clucking around (clucking because you’re actually more bird-like than thunder lizard-like), and the heavens start raining fire upon you, and then you die due to a space boulder (aka meteorite) smashing you at about 25,000 miles per hour (the speed things travel in space relative to Earth).
Sounds pretty intense, right? Now imagine that some mofo went and took the bones of you and yours, combined it with your outer space murder weapon, wrapped it in gold, and made that into a ring and wore it on his finger.
It’s really tough to convey this type of apocalyptic level, Armageddon-with-no-Bruce-Willis-dinosaur epic epoch to people now-a-days.
We just can’t conceive how bad ass mother nature and the universe truly is. We’re in a safe society where our only worries are whether our phone will get 4GLTE speed wifi connections or if our social media posts get enough likes from people we don’t care about.
It’s fantastic. No supersonic space boulder worries. No extinction event worries. No apocalypse worries (well, at least in North America. Sorry, North Koreans, and half of Africa).
For me, at least, this ring represents the grand scheme of things.
It’s the build up of 100s of millions of years of majestic animals reigning over Earth, then to only be knocked out in one fell swoop.
It makes you want to make sure that today is a good day, because we’ve still got nothing on the reign of dinosaurs.
It’s the epitome of the type of the power that nature holds over us that we so daringly ignore and try to conquer with every new invention.
It’s both infinity and zero all wrapped into one, sweet, manly accessory.
I used to think rings were more about your awesome manliness being crushed by a rock and a marriage, rather than the marriage of a literally crushing rock and awesome manliness.
Buuutttt… that’s just the good side of this ring.
Some of the not so good sides? How about that these rings typically go for $2,000 or so.
Or, how about that the meteorite in these rings are actually from the Gibeon meteorite which not only is from Namibia in Africa and not the Gulf of Mexico impact site. This particular meteorite impact also took place 4 billion years ago, placing it well before dinosaurs even existed.
Or, how about the fact that dinosaur fossils really aren’t dinosaur bones anymore. They are the minerals that were originally dinosaur bones that ended up getting swapped for more rock-like minerals as time went on.
Does that really change my opinion on this ring, though? No, not really.
It kind of makes it more amazing.
Here is some 4 billion year old space boulder that was just laying there for ages, being the ultimate clue for the philosoraptors to find out about their own demise, and then another flying space boulder comes crashing down and reunites this family of stone cold killers.
And the fact that fossils don’t have any of the old atoms and minerals of the dinosaur in them? I’d only worry about that if you’re worried about the fact that both the atoms and cells that comprise your body currently aren’t any of your original atoms or cells from a decade ago.
Were you not worried about any of that before but are now contemplating the meaning of life and reality and all that is holy in this world?
Great. The ring totally accomplished its goal.